(Part 1 of 3)
We are well aware that life is not a bed of roses even though secretly down in our hearts, we still hold the faith and believe there will be a smooth passage in life, work, or relationships. In a utopian world, perhaps we do not need to work and would be given the essentials for survival and doing the things we love without fear. Clearly, this world is not like that. Work plays an essential part in our lives and we would encounter various groups of people who would either lift us up or bring us down.
In my years of work, I have had the opportunity to encounter various people and this article is dedicated to the group who are in a way, our paymaster — clients, and I have profiled them into 9 types and their level of nightmare they could instill in you.
(Note: The list is in random order.)
#1 The Clueless 🤢
This type of client often has no idea what they want, how they want, and when they want it. Some clients have the mentality that you are the guru to provide them with all the steps and plans because they paid you. Their ideology is that you are the walking manual to making their business successful because they have paid you. They are not difficult to work with however, by the end of the day, it would seem that you are the one who is running the business while they look on, munching on popcorns.
I was at the introduction meeting with this type of client once. Decked in a clean, pressed shirt and fancy pants with a look of joy as we sat down to begin our discussion. Except, I did not realise I was the one who will be leading the discussion and providing the answers. Mr. Fancy Pants wanted to embark on a start-up company, he hemmed and hawed as he tried to share his vision with me. He was not sure which country he wishes to venture into, the number/type of services he can provide or if he has the people with the technical know-how to do it, the number of people he needed to run the business with him, he is uncertain what is the mission or objectives, he was not sure if the market is viable for his business or the laws governing in setting up his business. Do not be mistaken, he was not engaging my service as a business consultant. I was engaged just to help him craft and develop the business proposal for him so that he can show it to the venture capitalist he wants to approach to invest in him — how can I write when the business owner has no clue what is going on?
Mr. Fancy Pants was a nice guy, just that he does not know what he wants or how to go about doing it that makes it challenging. By the end of the discussion, I was acting like his business consultant and the other drawback was, he wanted me to do the necessary research and ‘help’ him with it.
At the end of the day, I turned him down. I will be having a nightmare for sure because it will be like a mother taking care of the son for every single thing. No way.
#2 The Anything Goes, And Then ‘No’ 🤢🤢🤢
This type of client is as much a pain in the arse as it is in successfully planting nightmare in your head.
There we were in the discussion to iron out all the necessary. Throughout, Mdm OK Can Can was agreeable to everything that was proposed because she admitted herself that she was not certain, however she was open to ideas and giving it a go. Little did I know it would be the beginning of a long nightmare.
We were planning for an event and suggested fringe activities to engage the guests. Whatever we had suggested and proposed during the meeting, she has ok-ed them all. We had then begun our tasks to source for event companies, vendors to carry out said fringe activities, and the caterer to take charge of the F&B. Upon collation of the mentioned partners and getting quotations, Mdm OK Can Can seem to have developed overnight amnesia. She began to reject the various ideas that were previously agreed upon and demanded we were to come up with fresh ideas. Time was running out by then. Our boss reasoned with her on the basis she was agreeable to all and thus we began our work. That was when she said, “I needed time to think and after thinking through, I don’t think those activities are suitable.” My boss was dumbfounded and so was the rest of the team. The point is, she could have asked for time to think through before agreeing to anything. And the best part, she had decided not to go ahead with the plans but kept mum about it until we showed her the quotations and all. Her response, “I didn’t think that would be a problem.”
Mdm OK Can Can did finally went along with the ideas due to the time constraints and the event was a success. We continued a few more projects with her but learning our lessons, we made sure to double, triple check with her a day or two later after our discussion before we begin any work.
#3 The Interrogator 🤢🤢🤢🤢
This type of client is a work of art. They trust no one but themselves, yet they need us but love to doubt us and question us. Every session with Mrs Judge is as though I am being cross-examined in court for being a witness to a littering case.
If I had been a newbie on my first day of work in the corporate world, I would have probably shit in my pants each time I meet her. Mrs Judge’s famous lines ‘Why is this so? Are you sure? Why are you so sure? Do you have case studies or past projects to back up? Where did you get the information from? On XX day and XX time, we discussed and put in minutes that this or that will be done, correct? She would pen down everything you said, including the time and date of the discussion made. You.Can.Not.Run.Away.
Some may think that it is reasonable for her to act like that. However, it is unnecessary duress placed upon the people you are working with. Toeing the line each time you are in contact with her, it is mentally draining. Her constant, “Why is this so? Are you sure? Why are you so sure?” almost made me second guess myself. Why am I sure? Due to the experiences I have gained over time, due to having tried the food and it tasted good, because we have worked with them before and they screwed up, because I looked at their website and they said it is closed on Monday. Yes, unbelievable? She is interrogating over trivial matters and that is what made it maddening to work with her. I feel like I was serving in the army and she was the officer out to do me one number.
(to be continued…)
